Year endings.
Long time, huh? And yes, as usual, things are not in the way I'd like them to be. Since sometime ago. This is my free-therapy, remember?
And why I wasn't writing here all this time? Well, there's been more than 2 years that I've my band. And, mostly of the time, it's been my scape. But we had a though year. And now, I'm having a hard time. And this is my free therapy, since I have no money at all.
Always when the year is ending. Can't be a coincidence. And this is the time I get lost, more than usual.
My heart is bothering me. It's becoming harder every day.
I'd like to be in love again. To do things with passion, irrational stuff here and there. Feel the happiness I used to feel when someone's smiling at me. To wake up with this warmth and impressions of hope.
But I can't open up myself anymore. I do not feel comfortable to let someone get a closer approach. And, irrationally, I've built some walls to keep people distant.
And, to help the situation (sarcasm, ok), persons that I was used to trust freaked out and now are behaving like 15 year-old teenagers, with no sense of compromise or loyalty. And, I don't know what is worst, holding themselves on mistakes we've made in the past; but things that I thought were solved and forgiven. So, of course I can't count on them anymore.
Like I wrote in one of my songs, "Trust is no more a main matter in this land".
The question is: what do you do when all your pillars seems to be shattered or corrupted?
I dunno the answer nor how to react anymore. I'm gonna pray for better days.
